What Happens in an EMDR Session? A Step-by-Step Guide
Updated: 4 days ago
EMDR Trauma TherapyWondering what EMDR therapy is really like? Here’s what to expect before, during, and after an EMDR session with a therapist.
If you've heard about EMDR therapy, you may have a lot of questions about what actually happens during a session.
Do you have to talk about your trauma in detail? Will you have to relive something painful? What are the eye movements for? Are you going to be hypnotized?
And perhaps the biggest question of all: What am I actually supposed to do during EMDR?
These are completely reasonable questions.
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is different from traditional talk therapy. Rather than spending an entire session talking through what happened, EMDR uses a structured process to help you reprocess distressing memories and experiences.
At Cara McLeod Therapy in Frisco, TX, EMDR is one of the therapies used to help clients work through trauma, anxiety, depression, and other experiences that may continue to affect how they feel, think, and respond today.
So, what does an EMDR session actually look like?
Let's walk through it.
Step 1: You Don't Immediately Start Processing Trauma
One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR is that you walk into your first appointment, start talking about the worst thing that ever happened to you, and immediately begin following a therapist's fingers with your eyes.
That's not how EMDR is supposed to work.
The beginning of therapy is about getting to know you, understanding what you're experiencing, identifying your goals, and establishing a sense of safety and trust.
Your therapist may talk with you about your history, current concerns, symptoms, relationships, and the experiences that brought you to therapy.
This gives your therapist a better understanding of where you are starting and helps determine whether EMDR is an appropriate approach for you.
Step 2: You'll Learn How to Stay Grounded
Before processing difficult memories, you need tools that can help you stay present and manage difficult emotions.
This is an important part of EMDR.
Your therapist may introduce grounding, breathing, visualization, or other strategies that can help you regulate your emotions when you feel overwhelmed.
The goal isn't to make sure you never experience uncomfortable emotions.
It's to help you develop enough stability and confidence that you can approach difficult material without feeling completely consumed by it.
You don't have to rush this part.
EMDR is not a race. Your therapist should work at a pace that makes sense for you.
Step 3: You'll Choose What to Work On
Once you're ready for EMDR processing, you and your therapist will identify a specific memory, experience, belief, or pattern to address.
You aren't expected to process your entire life in one session.
Instead, you'll focus on a particular target.
Your therapist may ask you to identify things such as:
An image or moment connected to the experience
The negative belief you have about yourself
How you would rather feel or think about yourself
The emotions connected to the memory
Where you notice the distress in your body
For example, someone who experienced a frightening event may carry a belief such as "I'm not safe" or "I have no control."
The goal of EMDR isn't simply to erase the memory. It's to help you process the experience so that the memory no longer carries the same level of emotional distress or influence over your present life.
Step 4: The Bilateral Stimulation Begins
This is the part most people associate with EMDR.
During EMDR processing, your therapist uses bilateral stimulation, which means alternating stimulation from one side of the body to the other.
This may involve guided eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds, depending on the approach your therapist uses and what feels appropriate for you.
As you focus on the target memory or experience, you'll follow the bilateral stimulation.
Then it stops.
Your therapist may ask a simple question:
"What are you noticing?"
You might notice a thought.
A memory.
An emotion.
A physical sensation.
An image.
Or something completely unexpected.
There isn't necessarily a right answer.
You simply notice what comes up and share it with your therapist.
Then another set begins.
Step 5: You Don't Have to Tell the Whole Story
This is often one of the biggest surprises for people considering EMDR.
EMDR isn't the same thing as repeatedly retelling a traumatic experience.
You may talk about the experience with your therapist, but processing doesn't require you to provide every detail or explain everything perfectly.
Instead, you are guided to notice what happens internally as the memory is being processed.
Sometimes thoughts or memories connect in ways you weren't expecting.
Sometimes a memory becomes less vivid.
Sometimes the emotional intensity decreases.
Sometimes you recognize a different perspective on something that happened.
Everyone's experience is different.
And you don't have to force anything to happen.
Step 6: Your Therapist Continues to Guide the Process
EMDR may look simple from the outside, but there is a lot happening during a session.
Your therapist is paying attention to your responses, checking your level of distress, helping you stay oriented to the present, and determining when to continue, pause, or change direction.
You remain an active participant throughout the process.
You are not giving up control.
If something feels too intense, you can tell your therapist. If you need a break, you can take one.
A good EMDR experience should feel collaborative and appropriately paced—not like something that is being done to you.
Step 7: The Memory Can Begin to Feel Different
As processing continues, you may notice that the memory doesn't feel quite the same.
Something that once triggered a strong emotional or physical response may begin to feel more distant.
You may recognize that something happened in the past but no longer feel as though you're experiencing it in the present.
You may also begin to develop a healthier or more empowering belief about yourself.
Instead of automatically thinking:
"I'm powerless."
You might begin to recognize:
"I have choices now."
Or instead of:
"I'm not safe."
You may be able to connect with:
"I'm safe now."
The goal isn't to pretend the experience never happened.
It's to help your brain and nervous system process it differently.
Step 8: The Session Ends With Grounding
EMDR doesn't simply stop in the middle of processing and send you out the door.
Your therapist will help you transition out of the session and return your attention to the present.
You may use grounding or other techniques before leaving so you feel settled and oriented.
It's also possible to notice thoughts, emotions, memories, or dreams between sessions as your mind continues working through what was discussed.
If something comes up afterward, you can bring it back into your next session.
What Does EMDR Feel Like?
This is difficult to answer because everyone's experience is different.
Some people notice strong emotions.
Others experience physical sensations.
Some notice memories or images they hadn't thought about in years.
Others experience new connections or realizations.
And sometimes, people simply notice that something doesn't feel as intense as it used to.
You don't need to know exactly what you're supposed to feel.
Your job isn't to perform EMDR correctly.
Your job is simply to notice.
Your therapist will guide you through the process.
Is EMDR Hypnosis?
No.
This is another common misconception.
During EMDR, you remain awake and aware of what's happening. You aren't being hypnotized or losing control.
EMDR is a structured psychotherapy approach designed to help you process distressing experiences while remaining connected to the present.
At Cara McLeod Therapy, EMDR is offered as part of a personalized approach to therapy, with treatment tailored to each client's needs and goals.
Do You Have to Have PTSD to Try EMDR?
No.
Although EMDR is widely associated with trauma and PTSD, it may also be used as part of treatment for other concerns related to distressing experiences, anxiety, depression, and negative beliefs.
Cara's practice works with adults and teens experiencing concerns including anxiety, depression, trauma, stress, addiction, and relationship challenges.
Whether EMDR is appropriate for you depends on your individual circumstances, history, symptoms, and treatment goals.
That's something you can discuss with a qualified therapist.
What If I'm Nervous About Trying EMDR?
That's okay.
In fact, being nervous about trying something unfamiliar is completely understandable.
You don't need to arrive at your first session knowing how EMDR works or knowing exactly what you want to say.
You can simply start with questions.
What will happen?
Is EMDR right for me?
Will I have to talk about everything that happened?
How will we know when I'm ready to begin processing?
Those conversations are part of therapy.
At Cara McLeod Therapy, the goal is to create a supportive environment where you can feel seen, gain insight, and work toward meaningful change.
EMDR Therapy in Frisco, TX
If painful memories, trauma, anxiety, or negative patterns continue to affect your everyday life, EMDR may be an approach worth exploring.
Cara McLeod, MA, LPC-S, is a certified EMDR therapist in Frisco, Texas, and a member of the EMDR International Association. She provides in-person therapy from her Frisco office and works with clients on concerns including trauma, anxiety, depression, stress, addiction, and relationships.
You don't have to know exactly what kind of therapy you need before reaching out.
Sometimes the first step is simply asking questions and finding out whether the approach feels right for you.
If you're considering EMDR therapy in Frisco, TX, Cara McLeod Therapy can help you understand what to expect and determine whether EMDR may be a good fit for your goals.
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